This is one of my least favourite things to do, writing about myself. Yet I do it anyhow as I have nothing else to do plus I kinda need to put something on this blog.
Why am I writing this? Well, if only we knew exactly why we do everything we do. One reason might be that I may be interested in reading this myself a few months or years from now. Another may be that some reader destined to stumble upon this blog may like it or benefit from it somehow.
The year 2013. Well, I have to say it was one hell of a year. (for me, that is). It started with the gloomy exam season. Why gloomy, you ask? Well it actually shouldn’t have been gloomy but it was. Those were the Second MBBS exams, the final exams after around 17 months of studying Pharmacology, Pathology, Microbiology and Forensic Medicine. You can remove 12 months from that easily, and possibly a few more as those were not spent studying anything at all. The huge amount of work to be done coupled with the abysmal previous performances in Internals and Pre-finals, all these have a tendency to produce a kind of depression, you know. Anyhow, finals were held and the results arrived. They were not that bad (by the grace of God), but it really had more to do with the God’s grace part than my work. Yet, technically, that was the worst result I’ve ever gotten in my career. And I was not happy with it (and am still not happy). In first year, I had put in some extra effort and managed to get a much more respectable score but this time the effort was missing and the scores clearly reflected it.
As a result, Third year (or more accurately Final MBBS Part-I) was started with great enthusiasm. We have to start studying. Then the not so exciting reality hit us. Hardly any classes being taken in college and postings, haphazard and disorganised as usual. The excitement and enthusiasm diminished as fast as they had risen. The subjects either looked small (ENT, Ophthalmology) or not interesting (SPM).
A natural question anyone would ask on hearing this is- what were you doing if not studying? Well, the problem with me is that I have so, so many methods of time-pass available that studies fall behind badly in gaining my attention. Especially cursed are people like me, the ones with a healthy PC & a swift Internet connection and a knowledge of how to properly use them.
Now I don’t know about others but at least for me, these things- movies, TV shows, random internet surfing, chatting, Facebooking- can entertain you only for so long. And only when you are in a certain mood. That is why I have always been involved in some or the other “project” that can keep your mind engaged, and probably involve the use of some of the skills you have. An example of such a project is this blog. However, there are quite a few other online projects that I was involved with, a few with a potential of earning actual money. Another offline, though tech-related, project was the editing of a short movie made by a group of my classmates. I now realise it did eat up a lot of time. I must have worked for it for around 3-4 months.
Life was going fine. The short movie was quite a success. More important than that, we were happy with our work. The other two projects were going real smooth. Then it happened. A call on my mobile. Such an outdated traditional means of communication. One of the online projects, it had to go. But not before causing a sh*tload of distress and worry and emotional trauma and paranoia and what not. Such unprofessional, backward these Indian companies are, in both mentality and their understanding of technology. Thankfully, the problem went away. The only disappointment I had was that the people benefitting from it would be disappointed. A few days of calm and then another blow. An email. The other project was gone too. Well almost. This problem was a little bit milder but it was unfair, based on a mistake I had committed so long back that I hardly even remembered it. Anyhow it’s temporary but temporary for a long time and it’s kinda hard to see so much of your work stagnated in uncertainty.
What I got to learn is that the Internet is not much different from real life. There are setbacks and failures and all kinds of stuff. I am happy now with how I handled it. Yet here I am, left with both my big projects gone and exams on my head. I kinda tried convincing myself that it was probably for the best, that now you should concentrate on studies, and if needed, use just this blog as a distraction. And also, may be, concentrate on real life a little more, realising that the only few things you are interested in always have to be behind a computer screen.
Now aside from the cryptic stuff I wrote above, that few people will understand, there were quite a few other things that happened this year. I regularly attended a few classes at a hospital / academy being taught by successful practising doctors, got to learn quite a lot from them. May not be much of the subject, but definitely a lot about their attitude, approach, priorities, basically what kind of personality they have, that may have played a role in their becoming a successful doctor. Great TV shows were discovered – Breaking Bad, Homeland, Dexter,Suits and more, Forrest Gump, an excellent movie, quite a few other good ones – The Call, The Internship, The Bling Ring, jOBS, Moulin Rouge, To Kill a Mockingbird, a few good Hindi ones – The Dirty Picture, Ishquiya, Chennai Express. Offline activities – a lot of time was spent hanging out with friends. Probably the highest, cumulatively, in any year of my life – consequence of a care-free college life along with an old friend circle. That was kinda nice actually.
So goodbye 2013. You were a good year. No hard feelings. Hope 2014 is good. And also 2015, 2016 and all coming years, in this calendar or any other calendar that exists.